Why say it when you can burn it?

While in New Orleans I did learn and retain (retention is key!) one fun fact about old timey dating. It involves this neat thing below...

As it was explained by our Plantation-period-dressed-lovely tour guide, this candle was used for courting purposes. The father of the girl would place this candle in the room where the date was occurring and it was understood when the wick was even with the top rim the date was over. There's a slight trick. Can you find it? We just figured out Blues Clues! No? The candle can be moved up or down the spiral to make it last longer. The father would set it and you could gauge how much he approved of the suitor by how high he set the candle in the spiral. Good news! These were available in the gift shop! I wanted to get one but I didn't know quite how I could use it. I didn't want to have any first dates in my apartment and it's generally frowned upon when you bring open flames into most restaurants, bars or coffee shops. Sigh.

Yesterday on the way to my coffee date I realized that I already had access to such a gauge but the modern way! Hallelujah!


Tall: "I see you over there and I want this to be over quickly."
Grande: "I arrived before you and need something to do until you get here." OR "I see you over there and I'm still unsure."
Venti: "Heck yes! I wish Starbucks made Irish Coffees."

If you're unlucky enough to see someone order the child's/short size before she sits down with you, you might just want to fake a stomach ache and save yourself the 15 minutes.