Other people's Opinions

I was going to direct your attention to a different love life website, with the premise that it is better. I'm not really sure it is. It's fancier; has more undergraduate accolades than mine and this Jezebel article about marriage seems to think it's worthy so check it out for yourself.

Also, I read this Letter to Singles a while ago and while I'm not nearly as angry or anti-wine drinking as its author, I thought it was worthy of mentioning. Then I got lazy or bitter or decided to hunt in the fridge and forgot about it. So read it now, if you are so inclined.

I'm baaack

Yesterday, I seriously considered throwing in the towel. I miss my couch and I miss my friends and this all just seemed pointless. However in my better mood today I will soldier on. Love is a soldier after all. This includes reading/responding to over 30 plenty of fish emails.

I liked this line: "Whats going on? I just wanted to shoot you a message and say hi. You are very cute and have a great smile. Anyways you seem fun and outgoing, and maybe sane?" Ha ha that's a big maybe buddy.

Ok I KNOW I've seen this person's picture before so either a) the same guy has been sending me stuff and I never remember his pseudonym OR b) he's going around making different profiles. Time to use that block button.

Apparently I have a great smile. Or that's just a good compliment to throw on a girl, probably because it works.

Being harassed by someone to hang out, even though I told him before I left that I was going to be out of town. Maybe I'll show up looking weird. Or I could go on the date as Mr. Doppelganger, haha. Guess we'll call him Mr. Impatient.

I like when people are funny, "I mean how could I ask out a girl who was 5'5? You wouldn't even be able to ride any of the rides at six flags with me. Not to bring up a sore spot but, how will Santa get all of his toys built if your spending all your time with me?

Well we might be able to make this work but you'll have to quit your job as an elf with Santa and prob work as a lawn gnome or something. The old lady that lives next to me is hiring them at 10$/hour."

I haven't read them all but I'm starting to get nit-picky so it must be break time.

Ou revoir

On Vacation be back next week. Go on some dates for me! Cheers.

Pork Rinds and Onion Dip?

So I believe I've mentioned Chemistry's short answer questions and how they give you about twelve to pick from or you can write a few of your own. There is one that I don't really understand and now it kind of irks me when I get asked it. The question is "One thing I eat but I know I shouldn't is..." WTF man? What do you learn about a person from that? That they diet? That they have guilt associated with food? Why isn't the question "my perfect meal would be...?" That seems a lot more informative and with less negative baggage attached.

Just in case you were wondering I always reply in some version of the following. I eat what I want, food is good; I don't play that game, life is too short to feel guilty about such a wonderful thing as delicious food. Now I'm hungry. Can someone deliver a bagel to me?

Date and Pre-party

I quite sure it's bad form to go on a first date slightly inebriated. Ooops. I blame Shaw and the way he feeds me drinks at happy hour. I think that perhaps it's really not that bad of an idea to have a slight buzz. I didn't get nervous or self conscious. I felt like I was downright charming. Enough about me and how I can't hold my liquor and on to the date!

Date Rate: ♥♥♥♥

Mr. Captain called half and hour later than he said he would. (I didn't really care; another reason why it might not be so bad to pre-party). We decided to meet for a dinner type situation but restaurant uno had an hour long wait so we ended up at the Uptown Tavern. We got lucky and found two empty spots at the bar right away. Bar sitting is better than table sitting because you don't have to always stare at the person; because the ridiculous sport of curling that's on the television can be a topic of conversation; the people around you can either be talked about or with; in theory you get served faster (not entirely true for this place).

He was, I think, good looking. Looked more like his most flattering pictures than the other way around. He is fun to talk to, employed and a teleskiier. Kevin would like him because he drinks scotch. He didn't seem to care too much about my slight intoxication. He paid for our hummus plate and my drink. Trading music really did mean trading music but apparently my computer is ghetto and his hard drive couldn't plug in (hehehe) so we didn't trade this time. Anyway, it was a good date. If he calls again perhaps I'll even try the next one sober... oops.

There's Something About Chai

I had my coffee date last night with Mr. Doppelganger. ♥♥♥.5
He was very gracious when I was fifteen minutes late because of snow traffic. Texted, "No worries take your time and be safe," in response to my I'm running late warning. Very nice indeed. We talked for a long time. I think the coffee date last about two hours. He's an interesting person for sure. He's moved around a lot and seems to have many hobbies. I believe he's most dedicated to his hobby of karaoke singing (not kidding). He came off as very kind. He could hold a conversation and appeared to be interested in what I had to say. He likes the TV show Bewitched.

While I had a nice time talking with him and we got along quite well, I didn't get the feeling that this would relationship make. My reasons:

1. No post date butterflies. I felt pleasant which was nice but not full on icky girl giddy.
2. I like the idea of artistic types but something about them in reality doesn't quite match with my overly logical brain. (No, I haven't painted a random picture and then analyzed why I painted what I did and tried to equate it with what that says about me as a person. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
3. I think I want my potential boyfriend to be employed or at least searching for employment.
4. I had to squint to be attracted to him, not good for the wrinkles. He has a pretty large forehead and I spent many a moment squinting at him to see if I could make it shrink with perspective.
5. I didn't want to continue or date when he asked if I was hungry or wanted to go play board games for charity. I wanted to go to sleep and watch the end of the Olympics.

For your reading pleasure

An article in which Time dissects OkCupid's dissection of their own statistics about how people judge based upon race in online dating. Honestly, I'm not that surprised and don't find it that groundbreaking but it may give one more reason for using a specialty dating site catering to a particular race or ethnicity. I still kind of want to join Jdate but that would be dishonest.

Also sex advice from some hacks without jobs.

Bad Chemistry Bad!

It peed on the floor.

Now you can just skip all the lovely steps and send emails. I like the steps. I like order. I like being passive aggressive and just ignoring people. Blast.

Instant email. Sheesh. So much work.

The Daily Message Gems

"I like your profile, you sound alot of fun. Your blonde, short, and beautiful. I would like to meet you sometime. =)"

Pass

"Obviously I am shooting you this message because I like your profile pics and would like to chat more if you’re cool with that. But I’m not really into the online dating thing so I don’t want to mislead you. If you’re interested hit me up on My Space"

Does myspace trump online dating? What if you are patrolling online dating sites but then making a girl do the work to find your myspace? So maybe you are pointing out that you're cooler than me by not actually online dating? Myspace was so 2007.

I know I just highlighted the baddies but I actually had at least 3 interesting emails. I have nothing to credit but Tom and his pictures so if these guys aren't married, thanks, Tom.

Not Quite Easter Worthy Resurrection

Mr. Captain in a completely unexpected out of the woodwork but not quite Aslan stone table breaking style came back from the land of dead dates via text message late last night. I was already sleeping because I'm a grandma and my bed is just so damn comfortable so I only just read it this morning. It looks like we might be getting together Friday evening to have a drink and trade music. I hope "trade music" isn't what the kids are calling it these days. Anyhow, ballers like me have dates two days in a row.

Time to finish up last year's Easter candy people. those Peeps aren't Twinkies, after all.

Upcoming Date

So after a few sessions of phone tag Mr. Doppleganger and I have a coffee date. Tomorrow evening at my favorite neighborhood coffee shop at 6. Yes, I gave all those details so my ninja squad can spy and attack if need be.

We've talked on the phone a bit and I still don't know quite what I make of him, nice for sure possibly strange. I'm interested to see how coffee date will go. Fun fun.

I'm running one real date a week so far (counting speed dating) and I think that's pretty good stats.

A very merry un-Birthday

Maybe I'll just turn my blog into a shrine for someecards.

Reinvention

I feel like the reasons for rejecting people on Chemistry are just silly and completely useless. Here they are: no photo, not a good fit, different interests, not enough information on profile, educational differences, religious differences, marital status, doesn't want kids, pursuing another relationship, taking a break from dating, did not respond, age difference too great, communicating outside of Chemistry, physical difference is too great, prefer and non-drinker, prefer a non-smoker, different relationship essentials, no chemistry based upon short answers.

I highlighted all the ones in red that the magic preference formula is supposed to weed out before it sends you matches.

The ones I have used because they are the only ones that kind of work I highlighted in purple.

I will purpose a new list of rejection criteria starting with the old favorite of I don't like yo' face renamed as, not physically attracted to you.

Here's my new list:
Not physically attracted to you
Different interests (this one is good enough to stay)
You seem kind of douchey
Something about your profile creeps me out
There is no way you are under 32
Laziness on your profile makes me think you are probably lazy in person
No photo (also a good enough reason to keep)
Did not respond (got to get rid of those somehow)
Once I learned more about you my suspicions about you were confirmed
Meh


I am getting too judgmental when reviewing profiles. As Chea pointed out it's like house hunting or apartment hunting. After a lot of searching they all start to run together and none of them have what you want at a price you can afford to pay. So I'm trying to think of ways to freshen it up. My ideas so far consist of not really looking at the pictures and going off of profiles completely and responding to everyone who shows interest. I think neither of these are very good ideas. Must do more brainstorming.

Judgey McJudgerson

I hate myself for thinking and now saying this but why is every internet guy bald or balding?

I just like hair, when it's attached to a head.

New Pictures

Since it's been a month I suppose it's alright to switch things up a bit. Tom went through my facebook photos and selected the following pictures for me to put on my hot date profiles. Do you agree? I like them!

The Day After

Feeling kind of bummery today. Let's blame Bridget Jones's Diary and how much I felt like I could identify with her when I was watching it last night. Yes, I was that cliched single girl last (Valentine's) night except I wasn't also drunk. I'm quite sure the majority of my infatuations over the past 3-ish years could, if they were honest, which they aren't, would say they identified with the Hugh Grant character. (Remember he's the bad guy in this one). I need some Mark Darcy in my life.

I also watched men's freestyle skiing, further adding to my unrealistic obsession with semi-professional male skiers. At least it wasn't all rom-coms for my solo Valentine's evening.

I always thought it would be embarrassing to get message from someone I knew in real life on an online dating site. I guess it doesn't count if it's by my friend whom I may have partially inspired to join said dating site. It actually made me feel a little less alone in this pursuit. Thanks, you know who you are.

Sometimes the Universe...

...is on my side.

I have no interesting news. So here is some actual news I'm not going to say if it is interesting or not.

Apparently internet dating is mean. You don't say?

I would be taking this more seriously if I were in Pakistan or if I hadn't attended that pesky university. Blast.

The conclusion is the same old same old. Now I'll go back to reading Jezebel and ignoring real life.

Automatically Generated Future Post 2

Automatically Generated Future Post

I want a custom love cupcake

I will be on hiatus this weekend from dating, from blogging, from adulthood (hello parents!). Unfortunate timing as it is, that most scared holiday of love is on Sunday,

Venereal Disease Valentine's Day. I knew I'd have to leave you all with something themed, something useful and something sarcastic. As it turns out I don't even have to do the legwork myself. I like movies and I like making fun of Valentine's Day (even though I don't really hate it that much, New Year's Eve is still the worst holiday for the single person). So luckily through this series of tubes and that thing that will never last called twitter I found THIS, the perfect Valentine's Day post. Enjoy and remember...