Point: Me

Date Rate: ♥♥♥♥♥

That's right ladies and gents my first 5♥ date. I guess he deserves a pseudonym now then. I had a "grab a drink" get together with Mr. St Patty's tonight. He was the fellow who I very blatantly hit on at the concert the Saturday before last.

From the second I arrived conversation and laughter just was. We made one pint of beer a piece last almost two hours. A list: bikes, skis, hockey, Japan, Buffs, Excel, sarcasm, Gorgol Bordello, fixing up our international friends...to name a few. I haven't been this yucky smiley after a date in over a year. I even had to have one of those gushy girlie phone calls with Alissa post date because I couldn't keep my giddy to myself. I don't really know what else to say except that I know this feeling and I hope it keeps happening. It's that one where I'm excited but then I get nervous about being excited because I don't want to jump the gun, count the chickens yada yada. Ok I better leave it at that before I get carried away. :::smile::::

Non-Date, Hawt Date

Toward the end of my date last night I got a phone call. I didn't take it because that would have been rude but I would be lying if I said that seeing the name on the Caller ID didn't make me speed my date to conclusion more quickly than I would have otherwise.

Mr. Jetpack was the caller and while I had resolved to contact him in some way today I'm glad he beat me to it. I returned his call once I got home and per our 40-minute conversation I have constructed a list.

The Top Four Slightly Superficial Reasons Why I'm a Little Swoony Over Mr. Jetpack

4. Turkey Legs. He will attend an event because it has Turkey Legs. I love Turkey Legs. So much so that I capitalize them like proper nouns.

3. When he gambles he prefers to play Blackjack. I p'own Blackjack.

2. He uses his phone for calling, not texting. I have only received two texts for him and only as follow-ups or precursors to the call.

and the number one reason why I'm a little swoony...

1. The Beatles. He cares enough about the Beatles to have a favorite one and a non-mainstream favorite song.

***End Swoon***

Date Four of Four

Date Rate: ♥♥♥

Last night I had my date with Mr. BetterBike. We went to a wine bar that had Gluewein, yes, thank you. I feel like this was first experience with the online dating dilemma of "oh you don't look much like your picture" that apparently guys experience frequently. He was really nice and we talked easily, especially about him being a Quaker. Yes, a Quaker. No, he wasn't wearing a hat like the guy on the oatmeal.

Like I said he was nice but he just wasn't for me. It was a little bit like I was having a date with one of the guys from Saved By the Bell, perhaps the one who dated Tori Spelling but 14 years later. I'm not claiming to be Kelly Kapowski but even that annoying Jessie Spano got to date A.C. Slater, now the host of Randy Jackson Present's America's Best Dance Crew.

Date Three of Four

Date Rate: ♥♥♥

This was my first second date, no not ever, smart ass. My first second date of this adventure. I went with Mr. Captain to a delicious restaurant called Bones. While I won't dwell on the wonderful that was the dinner because that would be for a different blog I felt I needed to mention it because the food itself was the highlight of the evening.

Mr. Captain was nice and he picked a very good restaurant but if you'll notice he did get a slight downgrade in date ratings from the first date.

There are second dates for a reason, actually multiple reasons. One, of course, to attend a date sober and see if you were wearing beer goggles (or in my case vodka visors). Reason two would be for the initial "we met, we're hot for each other lets get this ball rolling" bit. The third reason would be to see if the compatibility factor can take you beyond the first date small talk.

I didn't feel like I was off in my assessment of Mr. Captain's attractiveness, he was still good looking. I did, however, lack the desire to push the makey outey wagon out of the driveway. I felt like making conversation was not very easy. I felt myself almost asking questions I had already asked earlier in the evening. He seemed to be struggling with the same dilemma when he asked about how my day went more than once. It's not always easy to make conversation with a stranger, I get it. I usually really have to be on my game to not feel uncomfortable in this situation. Luckily, last night I was close to if not fully on my game, I was wearing lipstick after all. I resorted to silly questions which can either make things fun or make the awkwardness more evident. I'd say the latter happened in this case. It takes two silly people to play silly games. I just need another silly person in my life.

We made it through the date, declined dessert, split the bill, hugged and parted ways. He said something about still needing to trade music. Perhaps that will happen but if it means makey outey chances are getting slimmer.

We have an opening tomorrow, sir.

Slight change in plans.

Mr. International canceled for Thursday. He tried to reschedule but as we all know, I'm booked up. Just when I was gloating in my glory of a free evening hello netflix! hello cooking at home! Mr. BetterBike got his bike?butt? whatever in gear. So I put him in the coveted Thursday night slot right after F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I also heard from the guy who was at the receiving end of my drunken Saturday evening antics, the good antics. We tried to find a meeting time this week but could not but we discussed a possible Monday event, so there's potential there. Potential met in real life. I must be an incredibly charming drunk. I'll give him a name after confirmation of the date.

Date Two of Four

Date Rate: ♥♥♥♥

Last night I had my date with Mr. Jetpack. I just had to look up his name because I'm having trouble enough already not mixing up the real names, oh sheesh. He picked the place out of consideration that was exactly equal distance from where we both live. Thinking ahead is sexy as is organization. Unfortunately this took me to the dreaded Highlands but for the first time in the history of my driving to the Highlands, I didn't get lost! A sign from Zeus if there ever was one (besides the lightening bolts).

We had drinks and dinner and then went for chai (I always have chai, it's pretty much required on my dates). He's super cute and tall, thin, blond and blue-eyed. I didn't really have to play the Would I Jump You Game? because I knew the answer at first glance.

He's a little dorky, which I'm sure you all know is one of my weaknesses. He likes good music but is NOT a hipster! Get that? No weird haircuts or knuckle tattoos and praise Proud Mary probably no motherf'n jean cutoffs. I think his bike might even have gears.

Sometimes there were lulls in conversation; it's hard to eat and talk at the same time. He worked hard at recovering when I didn't jump in which I found endearingly awkward. He's going to be out of town for a while so I hope I made enough of an impression to cause swooning on his side (insert winkie face here) and hopefully a stray out of town text message. I thought of doing it myself but I don't know, is it my turn? No one ever gave me that damn dating rulebook.

Never Fails to Amuse.

Today's *first* message gems:

"Hi sweetie How are you doing?.. Hey I recommend you DINNER on the first date instead of coffee shop.. If you want we can drink coffee after dinner.."

It just warms my heart when you start our storybook romance by telling me what I like to do is wrong. ::swoon::

"would u like to chat?"

How did you know? I love chatting with people who can't be bothered to spend the nanoseconds typing y and o.

" Hey I liked your profile and would love to
get know you and looks like we have a lot
a common."

His Listed Interests:

Motorcycle	Working Out	Friends
Fmaily	Camping	All Sports
Rock Climbing	Racing Cars

My Listed Interests:

eating	travel	movies
yeasayer	dorky stuff	voluneering
spontaneous dance parties	lighthearted political discussions	witty banter
advice columns	skiing	cycling

Am I missing something? Like the commonalities?

And in a never before seen lousy 4th message...

"What's up Killer? Too busy to chat? Hollaaaaaaa!"

Weird. Just Weird.

Why say it when you can burn it?

While in New Orleans I did learn and retain (retention is key!) one fun fact about old timey dating. It involves this neat thing below...

As it was explained by our Plantation-period-dressed-lovely tour guide, this candle was used for courting purposes. The father of the girl would place this candle in the room where the date was occurring and it was understood when the wick was even with the top rim the date was over. There's a slight trick. Can you find it? We just figured out Blues Clues! No? The candle can be moved up or down the spiral to make it last longer. The father would set it and you could gauge how much he approved of the suitor by how high he set the candle in the spiral. Good news! These were available in the gift shop! I wanted to get one but I didn't know quite how I could use it. I didn't want to have any first dates in my apartment and it's generally frowned upon when you bring open flames into most restaurants, bars or coffee shops. Sigh.

Yesterday on the way to my coffee date I realized that I already had access to such a gauge but the modern way! Hallelujah!


Tall: "I see you over there and I want this to be over quickly."
Grande: "I arrived before you and need something to do until you get here." OR "I see you over there and I'm still unsure."
Venti: "Heck yes! I wish Starbucks made Irish Coffees."

If you're unlucky enough to see someone order the child's/short size before she sits down with you, you might just want to fake a stomach ache and save yourself the 15 minutes.

Date One of Four

Date Rate: ♥♥

The coffee date with Mr. Impatient got moved to last night, which made me glad because it made room for my date tonight. Mr. Impatient lives in Longmont (-45 points right there, one point per minute of driving). Some people make distance work, I could probably even be that type of person but why bother when there are so many fabulous options in my neck of the woods, right Al?

So because Mr. Impatient impatiently pursued a date but did little to suggest where said date should occur I picked a coffee place in Westminster/Broomfield. Then it was at least close to my work and he didn't have to drive to Denver. I'm so nice.

He brought Connect Four and a book. He said the book was in case I didn't show up on time. I was exactly on time, he got there after me, thank you very much. The Connect Four he said he brings apparently due to experience with awkward dates. I guess it's good to be prepared.

My initial impression was not unattractive but not really my "type," translation: I don't hate yo' face but I could not really see myself pouncing on it.

We talked for a long time. This worked out well because after a while little inklings of conservatism seeped out of him. Until there was a full on, "I'm a conservative." It's not that I'm not open-minded (okay, I'm not); I just know myself well enough to know that I could not make it work romantically and in the long term with a self-proclaimed conservative. And here I thought the scariest thing I might hear on a date this week would be a confession of vegan-ism.

I think I ended up being the bad date, probably somewhat intentionally when I slightly forcefully suggested that easy access condoms to not make middle school aged children have sex. He disagreed. He lost.

I knew enough to know that it was probably time to call it a night. I think I stayed a bit longer and we discussed internet dating. This is always a horrible sign. Conversation possibilities have run their course in 1.5 hours? Time for laundry.

I can pull it off, I hope!

I'm a woman of the city. Just not Samantha, per se.

Monday Night: Coffee with Mr. Impatient
Tuesday Night: Undecided type of date with a new one, Mr. Jetpack.
Wednesday Night: Date of undecided type with Mr. Captain
Thursday Night: BBQ and Bowling? with a new one, Mr. International
Friday Night: "Date" with my Great Aunt and Family for her 95th Birthday! Wow!
Saturday Night: Photo taking date with Alissa and her husband. Possible 2nd date with Bruce and his 60's music at Sputnik.

Mr. BetterBike didn't call soon enough to make it to an evening date (unless Sunday counts), got to act fast Mr. BetterBike, I'm very popular.......this week.

The Dog Days could be over

A little update. I quit Chemistry today. It wasn't really giving me results and it was just making me feel guilty because I wasn't putting the work into it. So ciao Chemistry.

Rande is a good wingman. I wrote my phone number on some guy's arm last night at the HiDive. Then I tore up the dance floor at the Sputnik, Bruce was playing 60's music, how could I resist? Yay for going out on a Saturday night!

Looks like I will have a second date with Mr. Captain on Wednesday. He must have gotten the memo and decided to try to make plans further in advance with me. This time I will at least wait until I'm there to get my drink on.

I will have a first date with Mr. Impatient on Tuesday. I found out he lives in Longmont. A forty five minute drive each way? Not really down for that but it was too late to say no because of the distance, I guess. He was very persistent; with the right guy that's called interest with a guy from Longmont who hasn't met me yet it smells of desperation.

I will probably meet up with another guy I've been talking to for a couple weeks. He seems really nice and his job is training cyclists. Yes, perhaps I have ulterior motives but don't we all? Let's name him Mr. BetterBike.

Three dates in a week? Can it be done? Here's hoping. See you friends and family in two weeks.

Meh to you too, sir.

I can't help but think your heart just isn't in buddy, Mr. Captain.

I give guys a lot of chances. More chances then they could possibly deserve. Shaw said I should not have even gone on the date with Mr. Captain after he was half an hour late calling me. Mr. Captain said he was stuck at work late and Shaw made a good point that given Mr. Captain's profession of something with computers, he could have definitely sent a simple "stuck at work late, call soon" type of text.

Today, Mr. Captain sent a text asking me to do something tomorrow night, Saturday. Yes, it is quite possible that I'm lame and don't have plans for Saturday night by Friday morning, however in this instance I actually do. It's not very polite to assume that I do not. If you really wanted to hang out with me you probably would have checked at least slightly earlier in the week. If this were the 1800's you'd have to send a letter of request to court me months in advance. Poor romance, so dead.

I don't subscribe to many dating rules. If I were free I probably would have said yes, especially because it would have been terribly funny to have a date at a place where I knew Zachy was going to be at. Roller Derby is just all the rage now.

My rules are simple:
1. Leave a message if you expect me to respond
2. Ask me in advance, I'm a busy and terribly cool person.
and
3. I try not to put people in my cell phone by name until the 2nd date. (It got a little complicated with this multi-dating so I had to temporarily suspend this rule.)

So little effort for the first dates? Forecast says lazy deadbeat relationship. I already have had that relationship and it was a pretty big bust. Pass.

Not just normal hot

Oh plenty of fish you make me giggle.

Click here and just read the title it puts in the web browser tab. Also check out the men who they predict will think I'm hot. I'm quite sure your browser might freeze because there are just so many.... oh snap.

Other people's Opinions

I was going to direct your attention to a different love life website, with the premise that it is better. I'm not really sure it is. It's fancier; has more undergraduate accolades than mine and this Jezebel article about marriage seems to think it's worthy so check it out for yourself.

Also, I read this Letter to Singles a while ago and while I'm not nearly as angry or anti-wine drinking as its author, I thought it was worthy of mentioning. Then I got lazy or bitter or decided to hunt in the fridge and forgot about it. So read it now, if you are so inclined.

I'm baaack

Yesterday, I seriously considered throwing in the towel. I miss my couch and I miss my friends and this all just seemed pointless. However in my better mood today I will soldier on. Love is a soldier after all. This includes reading/responding to over 30 plenty of fish emails.

I liked this line: "Whats going on? I just wanted to shoot you a message and say hi. You are very cute and have a great smile. Anyways you seem fun and outgoing, and maybe sane?" Ha ha that's a big maybe buddy.

Ok I KNOW I've seen this person's picture before so either a) the same guy has been sending me stuff and I never remember his pseudonym OR b) he's going around making different profiles. Time to use that block button.

Apparently I have a great smile. Or that's just a good compliment to throw on a girl, probably because it works.

Being harassed by someone to hang out, even though I told him before I left that I was going to be out of town. Maybe I'll show up looking weird. Or I could go on the date as Mr. Doppelganger, haha. Guess we'll call him Mr. Impatient.

I like when people are funny, "I mean how could I ask out a girl who was 5'5? You wouldn't even be able to ride any of the rides at six flags with me. Not to bring up a sore spot but, how will Santa get all of his toys built if your spending all your time with me?

Well we might be able to make this work but you'll have to quit your job as an elf with Santa and prob work as a lawn gnome or something. The old lady that lives next to me is hiring them at 10$/hour."

I haven't read them all but I'm starting to get nit-picky so it must be break time.

Ou revoir

On Vacation be back next week. Go on some dates for me! Cheers.

Pork Rinds and Onion Dip?

So I believe I've mentioned Chemistry's short answer questions and how they give you about twelve to pick from or you can write a few of your own. There is one that I don't really understand and now it kind of irks me when I get asked it. The question is "One thing I eat but I know I shouldn't is..." WTF man? What do you learn about a person from that? That they diet? That they have guilt associated with food? Why isn't the question "my perfect meal would be...?" That seems a lot more informative and with less negative baggage attached.

Just in case you were wondering I always reply in some version of the following. I eat what I want, food is good; I don't play that game, life is too short to feel guilty about such a wonderful thing as delicious food. Now I'm hungry. Can someone deliver a bagel to me?

Date and Pre-party

I quite sure it's bad form to go on a first date slightly inebriated. Ooops. I blame Shaw and the way he feeds me drinks at happy hour. I think that perhaps it's really not that bad of an idea to have a slight buzz. I didn't get nervous or self conscious. I felt like I was downright charming. Enough about me and how I can't hold my liquor and on to the date!

Date Rate: ♥♥♥♥

Mr. Captain called half and hour later than he said he would. (I didn't really care; another reason why it might not be so bad to pre-party). We decided to meet for a dinner type situation but restaurant uno had an hour long wait so we ended up at the Uptown Tavern. We got lucky and found two empty spots at the bar right away. Bar sitting is better than table sitting because you don't have to always stare at the person; because the ridiculous sport of curling that's on the television can be a topic of conversation; the people around you can either be talked about or with; in theory you get served faster (not entirely true for this place).

He was, I think, good looking. Looked more like his most flattering pictures than the other way around. He is fun to talk to, employed and a teleskiier. Kevin would like him because he drinks scotch. He didn't seem to care too much about my slight intoxication. He paid for our hummus plate and my drink. Trading music really did mean trading music but apparently my computer is ghetto and his hard drive couldn't plug in (hehehe) so we didn't trade this time. Anyway, it was a good date. If he calls again perhaps I'll even try the next one sober... oops.

There's Something About Chai

I had my coffee date last night with Mr. Doppelganger. ♥♥♥.5
He was very gracious when I was fifteen minutes late because of snow traffic. Texted, "No worries take your time and be safe," in response to my I'm running late warning. Very nice indeed. We talked for a long time. I think the coffee date last about two hours. He's an interesting person for sure. He's moved around a lot and seems to have many hobbies. I believe he's most dedicated to his hobby of karaoke singing (not kidding). He came off as very kind. He could hold a conversation and appeared to be interested in what I had to say. He likes the TV show Bewitched.

While I had a nice time talking with him and we got along quite well, I didn't get the feeling that this would relationship make. My reasons:

1. No post date butterflies. I felt pleasant which was nice but not full on icky girl giddy.
2. I like the idea of artistic types but something about them in reality doesn't quite match with my overly logical brain. (No, I haven't painted a random picture and then analyzed why I painted what I did and tried to equate it with what that says about me as a person. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
3. I think I want my potential boyfriend to be employed or at least searching for employment.
4. I had to squint to be attracted to him, not good for the wrinkles. He has a pretty large forehead and I spent many a moment squinting at him to see if I could make it shrink with perspective.
5. I didn't want to continue or date when he asked if I was hungry or wanted to go play board games for charity. I wanted to go to sleep and watch the end of the Olympics.

For your reading pleasure

An article in which Time dissects OkCupid's dissection of their own statistics about how people judge based upon race in online dating. Honestly, I'm not that surprised and don't find it that groundbreaking but it may give one more reason for using a specialty dating site catering to a particular race or ethnicity. I still kind of want to join Jdate but that would be dishonest.

Also sex advice from some hacks without jobs.